


Conversations

by devonthemenace



Category: Letterkenny (TV)
Genre: M/M, WHERE IS ALL THE ROALD, canon typical language, dialogue only, stewart/devon is a good ship but it cant beat roald/devon, tags for this show dont even exist, this is the first roald fic EVER?, where is the love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-12
Updated: 2017-06-12
Packaged: 2018-11-13 06:36:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11179107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/devonthemenace/pseuds/devonthemenace
Summary: basically, devon falls for roald and they fuck in a van a lot.





	Conversations

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first letterkenny fic and also my first dialogue only story. i needed some fic on here with roald in it. i just needed it. as always, i didnt proofread.

“Hey, Stewart? How about we go to the park and give the new Ouija board a spin?”

 

“Sorry, Devon. Maybe another night. I’m not… Not doing so well.”

 

“Oh. Okay. Yeah, sure. I’m gonna go for a walk. See you.”

* * *

 

“Homewrecker! Open the fucking door before I bust it down!”

 

“Devon.”

 

“Wayne.”

 

“How’re ya now?”

 

“Seething.”

 

“Well, then. It’s been nice talking but I’ve got chorin’ to do tomorrow morning, so, fuck off.”

 

“I want to talk to Katy.”

 

“She’s sleepin’.”

 

“I want. To talk to Katy.”

 

“How much have you had to drink, kid?”

 

“Katy.”

 

“Alright, alright, slow your roll there super chief.”

* * *

 

“Christ. Your breath could disinfect a wound.”

 

“You ruined my life.”

 

“You’re a tweaker, you ruined your own life. Next item.”

 

“You ruined my fucking life… He loves you.”

 

“Who, Stewart? Listen, I won’t take him back, I already told him-”

 

“You don’t love him. You don’t deserve him.”

 

“Shit. Don’t tell me…”

 

“You. Don’t deserve him. I’ve done everything for him. I gave up my life for him. I do his laundry, I cook him dinner, every fucking thing I do is for him. And he loves you.”

 

“I never asked him to.”

 

“But you treat him like shit. You step all over him and he  _ fucking worships  _ you.”

 

“You're no saint yourself, big shoots.”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“Roald. Don't tell me you haven't noticed. He follows you around like a lost puppy and you act like he doesn't exist. He loves you, stupid.”

 

“No he doesn't. Roald is just… We’re just close. Like brothers.”

 

“Look, Devon, I know you're not stupid. Stewart is straight. That isn't my fault. It isn't yours either. I think you just want what you can't have. You need some reason to be a fucking drama queen. But you need to peel your eyes off him for a second and pay attention to the world around you. There's a guy out there who would pretty much chop his dick off if you asked him to. And if it doesn't work out, fine, it doesn't work out. But you need to at least move on. I’m not saying marry the kid but… The best way to get over someone is to get under someone. Now get the fuck out of my house.”

* * *

 

“Roald? What are you playing?”

 

“Super Mario Sunshine. Just beat Gelato Beach, if you’re interested.”

 

“No thanks. Did Stewart go to sleep?”

 

“Yep. Didn’t even want to smoke with me. Do you want to smoke with me? I want to smoke.”

 

“Here. It’s Brandy, it’ll do for now.”

 

“Everyone else went home, too. Just us.”

 

“Just us… Listen, Roald. You would do anything for me, right?”

 

“Yes, Devon. Anything.”

 

“I want you to fuck me.”

 

“What?”

 

“Fuck me. In the van, on the couch, I don’t care.”

 

“Oh… Well, see, thing is, I’m a bottom, typically, so I don’t know if-”

 

“Shut up. Just get to the van. We’ll figure it out.”

* * *

 

"Was that… Was it… Good? For you?”

 

“Shut up, Roald.”

 

“Do you want to smoke some meth?”

 

“...Yes.”

* * *

 

“Devon… Do you ever think there’s more to life than nihilism?”

 

“Completely. Absolutely. Have you read Haruki Murakami? Superfrog Saves Tokyo?”

 

“No.”

 

“It’s about this Superfrog. He’s like… A giant frog. Who has to fight this character named Worm to save Tokyo.”

 

“Is… Worm a worm?”

  
  
“I… Don’t really know.”

* * *

 

“How long do you microwave popcorn?”

 

“I don't know. Two minutes?”

 

“Is this the pre-buttered kind?”

 

“I don't know.”

 

“I’m vegan, Devon. I can't have the pre-buttered kind.”

 

“I know you're a fucking vegan, Roald. We could go into town and get more.”

 

“It’s 3 am.”

 

“Fuck. Well, I don't think it's real butter anyway.”

 

“I’m not eating butter. It’s fucking gross.”

 

“Eat pretzels then, I don't give a shit. I just wanna watch Speed Racer.”

* * *

 

“Devon, that's my leg. You're on my leg.”

 

“I’m comfy.”

 

“Well, I’m not.”

 

“Fine. Move your leg, then.”

 

“I can't move it if you're on top of it. Get off of it.”

 

“Fine.”

 

“Thank you…”

 

“... I can't sleep.”

 

“Neither can I.”

 

“Wanna blow each other and then watch The Addams Family?”

 

“... Yes.”

* * *

 

“I’m fucking bored. It’s too hot.”

 

“Turn on the fan then.”

 

“It’s already on.”

 

“Then get out from underneath me.”

 

“No. It isn't my fault you're so hairy.”

 

“But it is your fault you're underneath me.”

 

“I hate these curtains. We should get new curtains.”

 

“What colour?”

 

“Lavender.”

 

“I agree. I think Menergy Spa should have  lavender curtains.”

* * *

 

“You have to get the fucking music notes, Roald.”

 

“I’m trying to get the Jiggies.”

 

“Okay, but you have to get both. Don’t ignore the fucking music notes! We’re trying to 100% this thing, are we not?”

 

“Yes, which is why I’m trying to get the Jiggies!”

 

“Don't yell at me, Roald!”

 

“You yelled at me first!”

 

“...”

 

“...”

 

“Wanna fuck?”

 

“Absolutely.”

* * *

 

“Shit!”

 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.”

 

“Katy. Wayne. Stewart.”

 

“Roald.”

 

“I see you got at it, then, Devon. Good for you. We found this one sleeping on the porch again so we figured we’d bring him home. Not to interrupt your fucking.”

 

“Why were you two fucking on my couch?”

 

“It’s too hot in the van.”

 

“It’s been parked in the sun all day, Stewart.”

 

“Right, well, I coulda gone my whole life without seeing any of this so, Katy, if we’re done here…”

 

“Why are you two fucking in the first place?”

 

“... You weren't home.”

 

“We were playing Banjo Kazooie. It escalated.”

 

“How long?”

 

“5 weeks.”

 

“Fuck. Have I really missed that much?”

* * *

 

“Connor, don't sit on the couch.”

 

“Shut up, Stewart. It’s fine, there has been so much worse shit done on that couch.”

 

“Connor, Devon and Roald fucked on that couch, don't sit on it.”

 

“Stewart, you've puked on that couch. We've spilled bong water on it. I’m pretty sure your dog has shit on it.”

 

“I’m starting to regret fucking on it, now.”

 

“Look, I’m not saying the couch is some kind of sacred place, but I don't appreciate sitting somewhere where the ghost of my friends fucking is!”

 

“Then you can never drive the van ever again.”

 

“Or use the pool table.”

 

“I fucked a girl once on your kitchen table when you weren't home.”

 

“What the fuck, Connor?”

* * *

 

“So… I’ve been wondering. What are we?”

 

“That's so gay. That's the gayest thing you've ever said.”

 

“We’re gay, Devon.”

 

“Fair.”

 

“Because I want to be something. I feel like we are something.”

 

“You're not wrong. We are something.”

 

“Boyfriends? Or something else?”

 

“... Boyfriends, I guess. If you want.”

 

“Yeah. I like that.”

 

“Nice.”

“Devon! Roald! Get out of the fucking van, I have to go into town! You do know we have a guest bedroom, right?”


End file.
